maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
