What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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