clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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