It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
