I wish I could punch you in the face.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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