It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
