well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
