Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
