And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize