The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
