what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
