the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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