Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
