Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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