Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
