These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
