I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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