More tranny stories later!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
