I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
