and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
