If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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