so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
