yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
