he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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