So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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