I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
