is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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