This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
