I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
