just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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