Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
