He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The power of my boobs compel you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
