Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
