I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
