...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
What a dumb baby whore.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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