The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
you never un-have a 4some
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
