I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
