I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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