i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
