Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
