Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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