make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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