even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
