All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
