The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
