their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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