i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i love accidental penises.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
