didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
