let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
