Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
