So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
