He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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