its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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