I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize