Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
