singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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