She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
