Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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